Why No Answer is an Ineffective Answer

One of the questions that sometimes comes up in my workshops about effective email is "Is it ok to not answer an email when the answer is no?". I am tempted to ignore the question and walk away, leaving them to wonder if I heard or if the answer is no.

But I am not certain that this would work and, following my own advice, I give an explicit response. No, not answering is definitely not a good idea because it causes confusion, misunderstandings, frustration and anger. Clearing just the confusion usually takes more time than answering the message would have. Sometimes the consequences of the frustration and anger are never resolved.

Let's suppose that Anne asks Brian if he is available for a meeting on a certain date.The next day there is no response from Brian. What does this mean? Does it mean "no"? Or does it mean that Brian never received the message? Or does it mean that he replied but the message went to the spam folder? Or does it mean that he is not sure and will reply later?  The problem is that you don't know, so most likely you have to send a reminder or call to ask. Either way if Brian hoped to save some time by not typing a five word email then he ends up spending more time answering followup messages and phone calls.

Giving no answer even has a name, the California No, because of its alleged use in California to say no without giving offense. There are actually many better ways of saying no politely and gently; ignoring messages is not one of these. A polite and empathetic rejection is not only more effective, it is also good for your reputation. When job applications are rejected most unsuccessful candidates still have a positive opinion of companies that write a polite rejection letter and they have a fairly neutral opinion of the companies that respond with a neutral letter, but they always have a very negative impression of companies that simply leave them hanging there, having to work out after a few weeks that there never will be a response.

It is the uncertainty that breeds bad feelings. If you respond to a message with a brief but friendly no then the matter is usually closed and everyone can move on. Send no response and the exchange remains open, annoying the other person every morning that they check their mail and see no response.

Clearly you don't need to send a polite response to every mail. Obvious spams can be ignored without regret, and anything creepy or offensive should be deleted immediately, but for everything else remember that a brief, polite answer is the best way to close the issue and allow everyone to get on with their work.


Related Posts about Email

Curing Toxic Email Syndrome
Three Reasons to Avoid Sending Angry Emails
Why Email Isn't Dying Anytime Soon
Three Tips for Responding to Angry Emails
Dear Best Regards: How to Start and End an Email
Three Non-Obvious Ways Culture Affects Email
Three Timesaving Tips for Email


Lectures, Workshops, Coaching and Writing

 Andrew Hennigan delivers lectures and workshops about communication including a popular half-day workshop "Effective Email in a Global Business" which introduces people to the essential techniques to make email communication more productive and less stressful. He also does one-to-one coaching and writing about communication. For more details you can email him on conseil@andrewhennigan.com, phone 0046 730 894 475 or 0033 6 79 61 42 81. You can also read more on his website http://andrewhennigan.com. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Best Regards: How to Start and End Your Emails

Image
Last year I wrote that to make your email more effective you should put meaningful content into the subject line, keep your messages short and consider other channels (see Three Timesaving Tips for Email ). I also wrote some guidelines about common culture problems when email crosses borders (see Three Non-Obvious Ways Culture Affects Email ). But there is one other question about international email that comes up regularly in workshops: how should you start and finish? Do I use "Dear", "Hi",or "Hello" to start with? What do I do if I don't know if the person I am writing to is a man or a woman? "What is the difference between "Best regards  and "Warm regards"? This is a question that puzzles many people and a while ago it stressed me, too. But the answers to these questions are perhaps easier than you imagine. DEAR MR/MRS WHATEVER . First of all, at the start of a mail you probably have some sort of salutation. How do you kn
Read more

Reverting to Emails: Confusion and the Indian English Language

Image
In workshops about global email many people focus on their issues communicating with colleagues in India. Partly this is related to some deeper cultural differences that lead to misunderstandings. But many problems are also caused by the different ways in which Indian people use English. There are some "English" words that you will probably only hear in India, like " stepney ", their word for a spare wheel. A hundred years ago this term was coined in the UK and was exported to India where it survived. Back home only a few antique vehicle enthusiasts have any idea what it means. There are also many English expressions that are peculiar to India, like "What is your good name?". But in both cases an English speaker from elsewhere would just see an unfamiliar expression and either ask what it means or google it. Most problems are caused by another kind of difference: where a standard US or UK English word is used but with a different meaning. Recently s
Read more

TED’s Magical Red Carpet

Image
Watch any TED(x) video or, better still, attend a live event, and you will probably notice that speakers stand in the middle of a circular red carpet. This choice is not just a question of aesthetics. That red carpet actually plays a key role in the success of the TED format. Having the speaker stand in the middle of a red carpet has several important consequences, leading the speaker to follow best practices that they might not be aware of. No script or notes . Since there is no table, lectern or other furniture within reach, the speaker cannot easily read from a script. This forces them to deliver their talk from memory, which is much more compelling because few people can read from a script and make it sound natural. And no matter how good you are at reading, the audience can see that your eyes are scanning the text and this breaks the magical connection with their minds. Encouraging people to speak from memory pushes them to make a much better talk than they might ot
Read more